Friday, April 3, 2009

Being is underrated

So, what are you going to do after college?

Give me 50 p for every time I hear that question and I'll be Slumdog Crorepati. I can't take it anymore. I can't take myself anymore.
Why can't I just sit tight and BE in one moment, completely? No, my mind has to be at home when I'm waiting my turn in the viva, it has to be in college when I'm at home, it has to be in this time last year or this time next year. When I'm hot and sweaty in college, I want to have a bath. When I have a bath, I want to eat. When I eat, I want to sleep. When I sleep and wake up, I want to watch a movie. When I'm watching the movie, I want to be doing something productive. Aaaargh. Shut up. Stay. Live.

'To be' is a verb. It is a verb that has been considered in the past as a choice (Ask Hamlet). It is an activity. It is an action. If I 'be', it means that I am doing something.
So, that's what I'm gonna do. That's my purpose in life.

Problem is, I have this mental snapshot of what it is 'to be'. It is this beautiful, heavenly place. And in that mental snapshot, I am content without being disappointed or wanting more.

There I go again, living in the future.

Be here. Now.

(This blog has become a sort of pep talk to myself!)


Odette said...

or your sounding board!!
but its good you have a medium to put down your thoughts than allow it to gnaw inside you.
just keep on writing, i love reading it coz its the same voice wanting to get out inside me.
now, you lower those eyebrows, hahaha.

ess said...

Tough. Going by all your posts so far, just being isn't easy for you. Or for anybody, come to think of it.

Seriously though, let me know how it works out.

ApocalypsE said...

this question creeps me out too...

Like everybody becomes a advisor and start rambling about do this and that...

Let me guess BE student?